At 5:00 o’clock in the afternoon on Thursday, June 25, 2020, I escaped from my abuser. He had no idea. I had been planning it since he viciously abused and killed my dog Kirby two days prior. I knew this was my out and I had to survive, and so I did. I escaped. And I survived.
On Wednesday, June 24, 2020, Mathew Berry came the closest he had ever come to killing my parents – my dad, specifically. My dad had contacted the police about Kirby’s death. This enraged Mathew. He demanded I make my dad stop and Mat came extremely close to going to murder my father. Mat was on the phone with his dad and the Russian mafia and telling them to go murder my dad. That night, I wrote a letter to my parents to tell them they, we, were in danger. I planned to drop it off on a shelf at the local grocery store. Mat was tracking my car and my parents’ cars too, and a grocery store would be inconspicuous. He wouldn’t know I was going to meet my mom there. I labeled the letter “M+D” for safety and as soon as I finished writing the letter, Mat called me. He was angry that I hadn’t texted him in over an hour. I was scared shitless and couldn’t risk him finding out about my plan to escape.
Thursday, June 25, 2020, Mat had plans to spend the day with me at my apartment. That Friday, June 26, I was supposed to go down by his house in Midlothian and spend the day with him. I knew that it would be easier to escape if I didn’t show up at his house rather than telling him not to come to see me. That was not an option. And so, Thursday, June 25, I woke up early, at 6am, and started packing my bags. Mat would show up unannounced so I had to be extremely careful. I packed my duffel bag with my deodorant, then put the duffel bag back on the shelf in my closet. I packed travel-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner (that way he wouldn’t notice they were gone – but he might have noticed the missing full-sized shampoo bottles), put them in the duffel bag, and put the duffel bag back on the shelf. I did this repeatedly, and each time I put the duffel bag away, I checked the window to see if he was coming. I had my bag packed that entire day and Mat had no idea. I take pride in that. Power.
At 8am that day, Mat drove us to Petsmart to get something for his dog. We got there and the store was closed. Mat was enraged. He began furiously gaslighting me. “I told you to check the time the store opened before we left! And you didn’t! And now you’ve wasted my fucking time. You always do this. You did this last time too. I fucking told you to check and you didn’t. You fucked this up and made me waste my time. And now my dog got his hopes up of going to get a treat and he can’t because you fucked up.” In my head, I knew he was wrong and that I was right. He had never told me to check the time the store opened. Last time we got to the store, it was open. I hadn’t done this before. Mat drove us back to my apartment and threatened to leave. He stood at his car and I walked back towards my apartment. I didn’t beg him to stay, as I had done dozens of times before. “Well?” he called to me. “I thought you were leaving,” I replied. I was proud of myself. I was regaining my strength and power. But Mat stayed.
A couple of hours later, Mat got himself involved with the police by instigating them. The police lieutenant followed his car and pulled him over, asking him a couple questions. In my head, I was screaming, “Stop! Don’t go! Know that something is wrong! Know that he’s abusing me! Know that he’s going to kill my parents! Know that he killed my dog! Please! Help me!” but I maintained my composure to not give myself away. The police officer let him go. I was on my own. Surviving entirely on my own.
The day seemed to last forever. As Mat would enter and leave my apartment, I would flip him off when he wasn’t looking. “Fuck you, you fucking idiot,” I’d think to myself. “You have NO idea I’m planning my escape. You fucking idiot. You have no idea what’s going on right under your nose.” He stayed the whole day though, never knowing what I was planning. Success. I was so close to escaping. And then I did.
5pm, Mat left. When the door closed behind him, I knew I would never see him again. I made sure he was gone, his car gone. I waited by the phone for him to call as he always did when he left my apartment. But he didn’t call. Shortly after 5pm, I took my duffel bag down from my closet shelf, turned off the lights, and stood and looked at my apartment. I knew it was going to be a long time before I was back there again. I shut the door to my apartment, locked the door behind me, and hurriedly carried my bags to my car. I couldn’t risk Mat still being in the parking lot and seeing me with my bags.
I called my parents when I was 2 minutes away from their house. “Are you and Mom home?” I asked when my dad answered the phone. He was very hesitant. “Yeah…” my dad replied slowly. “Can you move the car out of the driveway? I’ll be there in 2 minutes.”
When I got to their house, the car was on the street so I parked my car in their driveway, hidden from view. I carried my bags into the house. The tension was heavy. The air felt thick from anticipation. What was going on? My parents were hesitant to say anything. “Are you alone?” my mom asked. “Yes,” I replied. I was escaping.
I told my parents to call my sister on FaceTime as I had texted her earlier asking if we could FaceTime later. Part of my plan to escape. My parents sat on the couch and I sat in the chair across from them. My dad to the left, my mom across from me to the right. My mom’s iPad propped on the coffee table, my sister’s face on the screen as we connected via FaceTime.
“What’s going on?” my mom asked again.
“I called you all together because I need your help,” I said. I took a deep breath. “I think Mat is abusing me,” I said. The first time I had ever said that out loud. The first time I had ever admitted it to myself. My dad nodded his head furiously. My mom stared at me with a furrowed brow. My sister, worried look on her face, nodded her head too.
“You were right about everything,” I said. “About Kirby.” More nodding.
“I need to tell you everything. I need to tell you what happened to Kirby. He didn’t fall in the pond.” Nodding.
“It’s going to be difficult but I need to tell you everything, all of it. And I need you to know that Kirby suffered horribly, horribly that day. I need you to listen and I just need to tell you everything.” They sat and waited. And listened. To the horror, the absolute horror you can’t even imagine in your worst nightmare. I told them everything. The abuse, the threats, everything.
“You should call the National Domestic Violence Hotline,” my sister said. Amazing. I did. I spoke to an advocate for two hours. She called this one of the top stories she had ever heard. The advocate told me to call the police. I did. I filed a police report. The police told me to go to the court in the morning and get an emergency order of protection. I did.
My parents packed their bags that night. We were fleeing in the morning. We were going to leave town. That night, each of us slept with hammers next to our heads. None of us slept much that night.
The next morning, we went to the courthouse and got the emergency order of protection. Mat knew right away that something was up and started driving around to look for me. But he was too late. We had already left town. I had already left him. I had already escaped.
1 year free. 1 year escaped. 1 year a survivor. I am strong. I am a survivor. I am powerful. I am empowered. I am a survivor.
Sarah's Story 