Columbine

I’m applying for jobs because I need to gtfo of my current school (don’t worry, we’ll go into that).

I had an interview on Thursday and spoiler alert: I didn’t get the job, but tbh that’s fine. I applied Wednesday morning (the last day before the application closed), they called me that afternoon and asked me to come in for an interview the next afternoon. So I did. And it was great. It was for a high school Spanish position because that’s what I’m trying to get back into.

BUT – the AP called me to tell me I didn’t get the job and was so. kind. He said I was a b s o l u t e l y their #2 pick and it sounds like it came down to who had applied sooner, which again is totally fine. But he was telling me how incredible I am and that I rocked the interview. He said my Spanish is great, the questions I had were great, everything was great. He wants to help me on my job search and that’s so bomb dot com, like seriously. He told me that my masters in Spanish is HUGE and I’m extremely marketable, like very very very. He said at the end of interviews, when I can add any more info about things they didn’t ask about, talk about this masters and how I can teach the dual credit classes. He said there’s a huge push for dual credit classes and the fact that I can teach it is incrediblyyyyyy huge. He said no doubt I’ll get a job pronto, oh and he’s already forwarding my resume to other principals. Like to Columbine. Yeah, the Columbine. Apparently they’ll have a posting next week for a Spanish position and he already forwarded my resume to the principal at Columbine.

So, Columbine. Being a teacher at Columbine. That’s…. huge. Loaded. Like where do you even begin with that? The Columbine. Sheesh. Lots of reflecting for that one. Like on one hand I have my trauma and my teaching approach focuses on kids’ trauma and supporting them in that (heck, I won an award for that exactly). I also taught in the classroom where my colleague had passed away during my first year at my last school, which is another level of trauma, like I had taken on her class and students that were dealing with the trauma of her death. But to teach at Columbine? I’m sure they’re extremely student-centered there and care a lot about trauma, which philosophically aligns exactly to my teaching style. So, Columbine. Let’s see where this takes me.

Work updates – I need to gtfo out. I’m stressed to the max. I’ve started waking up at 4:45am to work out (which I love) but I found that I come home after work and sit on the couch for 6 hours because I have no energy to do anything else. I’m not having a good time at work and I fear it’s about to get worse.

Because? Because a student that has a certain behavior pattern had disappeared for 3 months and suddenly re-appeared and now she’s coming back to school. And I have strong feelings about that. She left to go to Mexico apparently, didn’t tell anyone, just left, 3 months, the principal unenrolled her from school, and now she’s back. Like literally, the office called me this week as I was teaching, said “So and So is standing in front of me, can I send her to class?” I said NO… NO! After 3 months? Just come back to class and act like nothing happened?? This girl hasn’t been to school in 3 months!! We need a reentry plan. I’m angry also because she’s not even supposed to go to this school. Not even this district! She lives in another district. Our principal had to approve her coming to this school and spoiler alert, he’s letting her. Against my strong opposition. He had an easy out to say no, she has to go to her district, but he’s bringing her back. He said it’s best for her. And it is NOT. This child has been at our school for 5 years and STILL reads at a kindergarten reading level in English and a 3rd grade level in Spanish… she’s in 6th grade.

I’m extremely concerned for what this is going to do to my class and I’m dreading it severely. She was the catalyst that caused a lot of bad behaviors in my class. She would have attitude with me constantly, she would mock me in front of the class, she’d go running around and yelling in my classroom and the hallways, and no, I’m very much not looking forward to that. Her return is going to derail the progress my entire class has made and I’m upset about that. Why is this a challenge I have to take on? Bonus that this goes on my evaluation ❤ her academic progress and attendance go on MY evaluation. I’m angry about it.

So I told my principal I need to meet with the girl and her mom and have a re-entry meeting. He emails me Friday night saying, “let’s do Tuesday morning.” I wrote back and said no. We need to have a team meet before she re-enters. With the counselor, learning specialists, ESL teacher, me, the principal, we all need to talk about what we’re going to do because she missed THREE. MONTHS. of school. Don’t even ask me how that’s going to impact her behavior.

So yes, I need to GTFO. Absolutely no regard for me or my well-being, for the well-being of the 22 other students in my class. I’m upset and quite frankly I don’t want to deal with this.

So I’m applying for other jobs. And I’m feeling desperate to get another job ASAP. I just need to know that I’m for SURE not coming back next year and then I can mentally check out and just survive the next 64 school days.

Ugh.