Jeremiah 29:11 was the scripture verse on my devotional card this morning. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Plans not to harm you. My God blesses me. My God is good to me. My God loves me. He cares for me, he carries me when things get tough, and my God is with me always. He blesses me.
Today, my attorney called me. Will County’s State’s Attorney called her. He has the case. He’s looking into it. This is a blessing I’m grateful for. Whatever comes of it, this is a blessing.
Jonathon, the ASA I had spoken to on the phone back in December, is the one who has my case. I’ve prayed for Jonathon, for God to guide him on his path. For Jonathon to be what we need. And God has a plan for me, for this, for Kirby and Daisy, for justice.
Jonathon asked my attorney to send over documents she had from Court. She told him she’d send him the redacted versions of things but would check with me to see if I’m ok sending the un-redacted versions. I told her absolutely, send it all. She told Jonathon she doesn’t want my address getting out there for Mat to see. She spoke to him and let him know that Cook County isn’t prosecuting any crime (car jackings, literal human murders) to hint at why Cook County didn’t press charges. She also told him that Mat was lame, for lack of a better term, through our court proceedings. Never had his camera on, lied to the court, didn’t file the necessary paperwork, he wasn’t a good person in court. In case there’s any wonderings that he’d be a force to be reckoned with, he absolutely is not. The Cook County State’s Attorney had told me she wasn’t taking the case because he would hold up strong in court. HA. Have you met the pathetic worm? You talk to him for 30 seconds and know somethings seriously off. Anyway…
So Will County has my case. And they’re looking into it. And I’m blessed.
Whatever comes of this, whatever God’s plan is, I know his plan is not to harm me. His plan is to bless me. He will not cause me any harm. I have suffered tremendously because of the Cook County criminal justice system. It was extremely traumatic and led me to the brink of suicide because of how low it brought me. And I know that God will not harm me. Whatever His plan is, it is good and it is not to harm me. I know Kirby is there with God, guiding this to whatever it may come. But there’s a reason all of this is happening. And I believe in the good.
I’ve known of God’s plan for me all along. Even back last February, when the Midlothian State’s Attorney victim blamed me for 45 minutes, I always had this feeling of a third. Arlington Heights, Midlothian, and this feeling of a distant third. I knew the third is what would bring me, us, justice. But I didn’t know it back then. And then this December I realized – Mokena. Mokena is the third. In Will County. That’s the one. The one to bring justice. And even back last February, I had this feeling that February and March would be the time for justice. And here we are. In February and March. February my story comes out in the news again after the Judge ruled on our case. March the Will County State’s Attorney has my case and is looking into it. I’ve known of God’s plan all along. And I’m leaning into it.
Whatever comes of this, I’m grateful for the kindness Will County has shown me. They haven’t written me off. They’re looking into this. They care. I’m grateful for that. Cook County didn’t care. They don’t. When I told my therapist that I’m scared of the same trauma happening again, she told me, “This time is different. It’s not the same as last time. That already happened. You went through that and survived. This time is different.” And it’s true. My God blesses me. Kirby is with me, leading this fight with his golden trail from the next world yet walking with me.
There’s a reason God told me to call the Will County State’s Attorney in December. There’s a reason he brought me home to Chicago to file the police report in Mokena. There’s a reason Jonathon took my call and there’s a reason he has my case. There’s a reason he contacted my attorney. He’s looking into my case.
We are blessed. My God does not harm me. My God blesses me. I see the blessings in his path and I lean into them. God is good, God is great, and so am I. I lean into his love and path and let him guide me in His way. We rejoice in the blessings and following His path, His path for good and righteousness. Amen.
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