I took a half day on Tuesday. I was sick with a bad cold and took the afternoon as a sick day so I could rest before hosting the graduation ceremony of my 6th grade students. I took a nap and when I woke up and checked my phone, I saw all these posts on social media about gun reform, how is this happening again? another elementary school? So I checked the news. And there it was. Another school shooting. Another elementary school. 19 kids. Children. 2 teachers. Murdered. I got on the phone and called my mom, a retired elementary school teacher herself. And I cried. How is this happening again? And then I had to rally. I got up, dressed, and got ready to celebrate my students that night. And I did. With a heavy and broken heart, I celebrated my students. The ones who went to school that day and survived. But that’s not the reality for so many students in America today. And that is a SIN.
I’m a teacher in America and this school year, I experienced two lockdowns. Last week, I hosted a club after school for students. An extra responsibility I gladly took on to bring joy to our students. After the club ended, I waited outside with students as their parents came to pick them up. With one student remaining, we went back inside to wait for her adult to come get her. We were waiting by the main office when we heard the announcement: “Locks, lights, out of sight.” It repeated twice. A student waiting in the main office had accidentally triggered the panic button. But we had to follow protocol. So, along with three other adults and two students, I hid in a closet. For 45 minutes. 45 minutes. Hiding. And then finally the police showed up. We heard them approach the door saying, “oh wait there’s people still in there?” The officer unlocked the door and said “Whoops, we forgot about you guys.” 45 minutes. “You could’ve gotten out of here a lot sooner,” he added. “No we couldn’t,” my coworker responded, “that’s against protocol.” The officer agreed and released us from the closet where we had hid for 45 minutes.
That was Lockdown #2 of this year. Lockdown #1 was real and terrifying. It happened in the middle of parent teacher conferences. It was about 6pm. I was in my room with my coworker hosting a conference with a mom and her three young daughters (ages 7, 3, and 9 months). Yes, one was an infant. And then we heard the announcement. “Locks, lights, out of sight.” Panic. I turned to my coworker who sprung into action. We gently, but hurriedly, ushered this family to the back of the room. We turned off the lights. My coworker frantically closed the window shades. And then we sat and waited. I kept nervously checking the window of the door to the outside, wondering if the shooter was outside. 45 minutes we waited, panicked, in the dark. Quietly finding coloring supplies for the young girls. Shhh, you have to keep quiet. This family, confused, going along with our guidance. They didn’t speak English. The baby grew fussy and the mom took a moment to breastfeed the infant. There, hiding, during a lockdown, with a mother nursing her infant. This is teaching in America.
No word about what happened. A brief email to follow protocol. Mind racing with fear. Is it a disgruntled parent come to school brandishing a gun? Nobody knows. 45 minutes. The police knocked on the door. We sit still and remain silent. We’ve been trained. We wait for the police to open the door and show us their badges. They release us. The family goes home. And conferences continue as usual. 45 minutes I sat terrified that my colleagues were being murdered in their classrooms, wondering who was hurt, why they weren’t responding to my texts, were they ok? 45 minutes. And conferences continued as usual.
It turns out a student had accidentally triggered the panic button. There was no real threat, according to police. But to us, the teachers, cowering in our classrooms with students crying in fear, it was real. And conferences continued as usual.
We are the district of Columbine. Our community, our staff, we have connections to Columbine. Whether they were there that day or attended a school in the district that went on lockdown during the Columbine massacre, we are the district of Columbine. We have gone through two lockdowns this year. And each time, immediately afterwards, it was business as usual.
I am a teacher in America. I have stood in front of my class full of students as they stare at me, wide-eyed, waiting for my response. The question? “Would you protect us if a shooter came in?” A genuine question. A real question. Would I protect them if a shooter came in? Yes. I would do anything and everything in my power to save my students, as would any teacher in America. As did the teachers at Sandy Hook whose bodies were found covering students they tried to shield. We, the teachers of America, stand in front of our students and comfort them by saying we would protect them from a shooter. This is the reality of teaching in America. Our students practice lockdown drills only to hear of school shootings where 17, 19, 21 students were killed in their classrooms. This is the reality of schooling in America. It’s wrong. It’s terrifying. It creates trauma, ripple effects of trauma, impacting more people than one can imagine. And yet, we’re told to lock the doors and hide. Put more security guards in schools. Only use one door, one entrance, in school buildings. Arm the teachers!
This is teaching in America. Our students look to us with fear in their eyes, a very real fear of dying in our classroom. Of being murdered by a man with a gun as we work on a group project or read books during independent reading. This is the reality of schooling in America. It seems that just about every question has been asked: When is enough enough? When will this end? And we, the teachers, the students, cower in the backs of our classrooms, hidden, waiting for 45 minutes, terrified that our friends are being murdered down the hall. This is teaching in America.
I leave you with an email our principal sent to staff after a practice lockdown drill earlier this year. Because this, this is teaching in America.
Good afternoon!
Today we completed our annual Lockdown Drill and all went well. Thank you for your patience and professionalism during this important drill. We were able to walk the building with Safety and Security and were given some important reminders.
– Locking Unoccupied Rooms: Many classrooms have interior pass through doors to adjacent classrooms. To prevent access through these doors during a lockdown, all staff should be in the habit of closing and locking doors any time they are the last person in a room. Never leave a room open or unlocked it unattended. You should have your key with you at all times to get back into your space as needed. I have asked Anthony and others around the building to begin to get in the habit of closing and locking doors of unattended rooms. Creating this building norm is crucial to school safety during an actual lockdown and is now the expectation.
– Outside: If you are outside with or without students during a lockdown, you should evacuate the grounds and move towards safety. Carrying a cell phone will allow you to call 911 and provide your location. You should not remain on school grounds.
– Cafeteria: The best location in the cafeteria is along the west wall between the two sets of doors. After closing the main doors (which remain locked while open), you may also opt to move students and staff towards the kitchen area as well if that makes sense.
– Library: The only room you should use based off the locking mechanisms is the attached room up front that is currently the medical safe room across from the main office.
– Covered Windows and Doors: If you have a room where the best “out of sight spot” is in view of the window by your entry door, you should permanently cover the window(s) with a poster or butcher paper. If your “out of sight” location is not in view of that window, you do not need to cover it.
– Exterior windows/blinds: You should not worry about closing blinds to the exterior windows/doors during a lockdown. During a lockdown the threat is in the building and even if there was an exterior threat, the lights out in the room would make seeing in difficult.
The rule of thumb is during an actual lockdown you only have 20-30 seconds to hide. It is a good practice to occasionally play out a scenario in your head about what you would do in a given space to increase your responsiveness.
If you have particular concerns with your specific area or other general wonderings about lockdown procedures, please reach out!
Finally, take all announcements seriously and never assume a lockdown is a drill- locks, lights, out of sight!
Sarah's Story 