My sister sent me a memory on Snapchat the other day. 3 clips. Each one was her playing and cuddling with Kirby. And it absolutely shattered my heart. My sister there with Kirby, love as pure as light. 5 years ago. And all I could think about was how Mathew Berry so cruelly, so horrifically, took Kirby out of this world. And my feelings just… it was a lot.
I looked at these pictures of my sister with Kirby and see the pure love. Kirby lived a life full of love. And then my mind goes to the day he was killed. Kirby suffered so tremendously on that last day. And he died. Mathew Berry killed him. And I saw every second of it. I saw my baby being tortured. And I’m so angry. Mathew Berry was in my life for 10 fucking weeks. That’s it. 10 weeks. And he took my entire world away from me in that incredibly brief time. I’m so angry and hurt and heartbroken by this fact and reality. Kirby and Daisy. Kirby was in our family for his 6 beautiful years of life. He was loved deeply. And in 10 weeks of knowing Mathew Berry, he suffered horrifically. Mathew Berry, you soulless fuck, will spend eternity burning in the flaming pits of hell. Mathew Berry lives a life void of the love of God. And I’m angry, I will always be angry, for what he did. What he took away from me and my family. My family loved Kirby as much as I did, and I hate that they experience this grief and loss too.
I’ve been dealing with this, my story, lately. Because as amazing as my life is now, right now, this is my story. And this is my life. This is my reality. I was on a walk this morning and my mind was stuck in the thoughts of how Kirby died and suffered that day. And I wanted to snap out of it before I started my day, but it was hard.
And then I was teaching summer school, and my mind went to the place of “this is still and always my reality, even though it isn’t always visible on my skin.” Like how do you tell people you’re not ok all the time? That my mind gets stuck in these places, the trauma and grief? Because this is my reality. And no, it doesn’t happen as often as it used to, but it happens. And when it does, it’s overwhelming. I will forever, for all of my life and existence, hate that this is my reality, and that this is my story. It isn’t right. It’s the worst sin that one can commit. And it happened to me. And my dogs. And my family. God, that’s a lot.
I have more to say but this is a lot for me to process. I have therapy this week, luckily. But we’re coming up on the 2 year mark of Kirby’s death. I hate that Mathew Berry killed Kirby less than a week after my birthday. That fucks me up. My birthday is now just a marker of the anniversary of that day. My Kirby. Baby. Ugh. This is a lot and my mind goes numb because it’s a lot to feel and absorb. So I’m going to go cuddle my babies Rosie and Joey and feel these feelings.
Sarah's Story 