My last post about giving up this world of sharing my story and everything….mmmmm maybe not. Because immediately after I shared that post, I received (yet another) message from a woman who had been involved with my abuser. And it reminds me of why I share and do this.
Also, trial is in 2 months (supposedly). And I’ve been feeling some feelings lately.
Daisy’s birthday was a few days ago on March 27. Her 5th birthday. But we didn’t get to celebrate together. I went through the entire day being aware and having a soft spot in my heart for her. And then I got home late at night after another long day of work. I sat in my car for a few minutes and listened to a song that reminds me of Kirby and Daisy. And I started crying. And I came inside and called my mom. And I started sobbing. Sobbing for the pure atrocity of what he did. Sobbing for the shock and awfulness of what he did, of what he took away from me, from this world.
That’s what this loss is. What Mathew Berry did during those three months is the gravest sin one can commit. And then he thought he got away with it. But what he did, MATTERS. He took away these pure, brilliant, beautiful lives from us. From this world. And our family still grieves. Those dogs were loved. SO INCREDIBLY LOVED, with every fiber of our being. These are the beautiful lives that would cuddle up with me on the couch as I watched TV. The beautiful lives that were so excited when I could come home from my COVID walks because it meant they got to go out for a little walk with me next. The lives that would stretch into me as we would wake up in the morning. The lives that would humor me and wear the sweaters and Halloween costumes. The lives that mattered.
It was four years ago today that I matched with Mathew Berry on Bumble. Four years since he’s been in my life. In our lives.
And now, in two months, his trial is scheduled.
What he did, matters. The lives he took, matter. The impact he has had, matters.
I’ve done all of this fighting and advocating in the name and line of love. Despite everything, I’ve persevered. Because of love. Because it’s RIGHT.
Regardless of anything that happens in that courtroom, what Mathew Berry did does and will always and forever matter.
Kirby and Daisy, their lives, our lives, our love. Matters.
Love you both so, so, so much.
Sarah's Story 