It’s 2:10am and I know there’s a fair amount I should be updating on my blog about my life and my story but given the current state of the country, I have this on my mind very heavily.
I have an acquaintance, at one time a friend, other times a close acquaintance, now truly a stranger who I so desperately am grappling with “do I remove her from all social media, or have compassion that she is unhealed and struggling in many ways.” Let me explain.
This person in particular played a role in my own story with DV. She had gone through it herself, actually during the time I had known her, and now openly posts and advocates against DV. When I was being abused, I wasn’t allowed to Google anything without the permission of my abuser, so I was terrified to research DV and learn about my own situation. But, I followed this acquaintance on social media and saw her posts teaching about DV, and that’s how I truly came to understand that I myself was experiencing abuse.
And this weighs heavily on my heart because it was such an important factor in my story and ultimately salvation of surviving this abuse. Barely.
I came to know this acquaintance when I studied abroad in Mexico. We studied abroad in a specifically community service-centered program. We learned about social justice and the suffering and ailments of Mexicans, their history, and much of the suffering in Latin America. Every Wednesday, we would go into the local community and work with children to teach them how to use computers. We worked with their mothers and formed a bond with these families.
I have continued on this path and pursued a career in Spanish language education, often working directly with these populations as an ESL teacher, dual language teacher, where I worked with 10 year olds who immigrated here alone and shared trauma stories of how their coyotes held guns to their heads and demanded more money, laughing together at the shared traumatic experience, & mostly Spanish teacher working with Hispanic & Latino students as well as those learning Spanish as a second language. This is the career I have pursued and I am incredibly passionate about it.
Now, here’s what I struggle with. This aforementioned acquaintance. The one who advocates against DV. The one who I studied abroad with. The one who graduated with a degree in sociology. She had turned completely MAGA. I’ll also add that she’s a POC which I’m sure is a whole other layer to her psyche with this.
She has since come out and declared she wants a refund for her college education for the brain washing they did and how much she regrets and resents her sociology degree.
She posts constantly in support of MAGA, justifying every harm and hurt they do.
And now, she’s very very anti-undocumented immigrants.
Now, I will admit, undocumented immigration is a hot topic and it’s complex. I myself used to be very anti-undocumented immigration. Granted, I was 15 and since then have learned so much more and have a lot of compassion and understanding of those who immigrate and why. I’ve learned too much through my studies and careers about their suffering and how much of it is caused by the USA interference in Latin America and the destruction we’ve caused.
What is happening in our country, I absolutely do not condone. I am angry. I am distressed. I am frustrated. I am heartbroken. I am frozen with “what can I do?” and worrying about the safety of myself, my family, and my students and community too.
This administration needs to be held accountable for the harm and suffering and chaos and cruelty they are imposing on our country. And I stand by that.
I am anti-this ICE conduct; anti-this administration. Absolutely. 100%. Fiercely anti this administration.
But, this acquaintance. What I struggle with. She posts and justifies the horror this administration causes. She blames undocumented immigrants. She is pro-ICE. And that makes me almost tear up writing. We worked together with the children in this poor community in Mexico. Hell, I translated for her *very often* because my Spanish was stronger than hers, and I helped her foster the relationship with these kids and their mothers.
So to see her posting against those very people, denying and justifying the harm and suffering this administration is causing them through ICE and now our own US citizens!
I struggle with it. On one hand, it’s incredibly hard for me to see her like this, the hate she perpetuates. And on the other hand, she and I had this deeply personal and unique connection with DV and how her advocacy played a role in my own survival.
I’m not saying there’s a right or wrong answer here. I’m not saying I’m even going to do anything about this. But I struggle with it. It’s something that weighs on my mind every time I see her post on social media.
It’s a chaotic world we’re living in right now. There is so much pain and suffering and lying going on with this administration. They are toxic, gas-lighting, manipulative abusers themselves. And my philosophy with that is: I have done too much therapy and I am too healed to tolerate this administration.
All of it. So much. Just…. Too much.
Sarah's Story 