depression – Sarah's Story

I haven’t posted in a minute (again)

so hey! It’s that time of year where I’m extremely busy with coaching (yeah, working 14 hour days, 5-6 days a week) so I haven’t had time for much else. I love it but lately I’ve been thinking about the future and wanting a life of balance, where I have more time for myself andContinue reading “I haven’t posted in a minute (again)”

A year ago I wanted to die. And tonight I danced.

Tonight I got up and danced. Well first I worked out and then I jammed to my music and just danced. And it felt good. A year ago I wanted to die. Literally. I remember sitting in my car, sobbing, because I didn’t want to be alive. I wanted to die. I wanted to beContinue reading “A year ago I wanted to die. And tonight I danced.”

I’m not doing ok, but I’m fine

It’s situational. And it’s trauma, and I accept that and I’m in therapy to cope with it, so I’m ok. I accept the hurt and pain and grief (that’s the hardest one) and allow myself to feel it when the feeling comes up. And as for situational, I hate my job, I’m suffering there, andContinue reading “I’m not doing ok, but I’m fine”

I almost cried at the vet last night

I took Rosie to a new vet last night because she was due for her annual check-up. I researched a ton of vets and this one had like 1,000+ five-star reviews, so I scheduled her appointment and was fine waiting six weeks to be seen due to the wait. The vet is incredible. The clinicContinue reading “I almost cried at the vet last night”

Grief, Guilt, and Moving On (literally)

I’m moving. In less than two weeks, I’m packing everything up and starting a new chapter in a whole new state. This has been exciting and something I’m looking forward to, but recently I’ve been feeling a lot of grief and guilt come up. Grief and guilt about Kirby and Daisy. Our life together wasContinue reading “Grief, Guilt, and Moving On (literally)”

I’m doing okay, really (well, for the most part)

I’ve been feeling I don’t know, guilty? lately for posting about all this deep inner stuff. I get the feeling that people read it and think I’m in such a dark place, and I guess the reality is that this is just my reality now. This is my every day life. I have trauma andContinue reading “I’m doing okay, really (well, for the most part)”

I gained 20 lbs, but at least I don’t want to die anymore

Yeah. Putting it out there, my biggest insecurity and a huge internal battle. I started meds, antidepressants specifically, and I gained 20 lbs. But hey, at least I don’t want to die anymore. I first went on antidepressants, Zoloft specifically, in 2012 when I had depression and anxiety for the first time. College was rough.Continue reading “I gained 20 lbs, but at least I don’t want to die anymore”