Tag Archives: healing

New Job + More Therapy

Let’s start with the good: I got a new job!!!! I’ve had 3-4 high schools interested in me and this week I was a finalist at two of the high schools. One of them offered me the position and before I accepted, I asked if I could go on a tour of the building. TheyContinue reading “New Job + More Therapy”

A year ago I wanted to die. And tonight I danced.

Tonight I got up and danced. Well first I worked out and then I jammed to my music and just danced. And it felt good. A year ago I wanted to die. Literally. I remember sitting in my car, sobbing, because I didn’t want to be alive. I wanted to die. I wanted to beContinue reading “A year ago I wanted to die. And tonight I danced.”

“I hope you can move on”

That’s something I’ve heard on more than one occasion from people close to me, namely family members. It came from a place of love but this idea, that statement, is very harmful. For the REST of my LIFE, I will carry this trauma with me. Until the day I die. It will forever and alwaysContinue reading ““I hope you can move on””

This time is different.

^ Quote from my therapist I was telling her how anxious I was about filing this police report and nervous and scared of it being the same as the last time I was so hurt and traumatized by the system. And she said, “this time is different, it’s not the same experience.” And that comfortsContinue reading “This time is different.”

I’m saving lives.

I’m crying and I’ll add more to this post soon but I’m saving lives and I can’t tell you what that means to me. With everything, the injustice system not pressing charges against Mat, the bullshit we’re dealing with in court with this lawsuit, none of that matters because I’m saving lives. I’m telling myContinue reading “I’m saving lives.”

I am the sun ☀️

In therapy this week, I reprocessed some of my trauma and how I was triggered into feeling paralyzing fear when my dog Rosie jumped on my lap as I drove the other day. It brought me right back to the day Mat killed Kirby, because that morning, as I drove to Mat’s house, Kirby jumpedContinue reading “I am the sun ☀️”

Rosie went to the vet & I still grieve Daisy HARD.

Rosie wasn’t feeling well this week. I emailed the vet on Tuesday night and asked if I could bring her in this weekend. They wrote back on Wednesday morning saying they’d prefer to see her as soon as possible with her symptoms and they had an opening for that afternoon. I took it and toldContinue reading “Rosie went to the vet & I still grieve Daisy HARD.”

Signs

I’ve been seeing a lot more 617, pretty much every day. I ended a phone call this morning and it lasted 6 minutes and 17 seconds. The apartment right across from mine is 1617. I’ll frequently see the clock at 6:17. So many signs. And today, I’m getting my nails done. School starts on TuesdayContinue reading “Signs”

617

617. That’s my lucky number. 6/17, my birthday. For years my lucky number has been 6 and 17. But that’s always been it, 617, my number. A few months ago, I started seeing 617 everywhere. Like, everywhere. Every day I would see the time on the clock 6:17 in the morning and the evening. I’dContinue reading “617”