Tag Archives: PTSD

“I hope you can move on”

That’s something I’ve heard on more than one occasion from people close to me, namely family members. It came from a place of love but this idea, that statement, is very harmful. For the REST of my LIFE, I will carry this trauma with me. Until the day I die. It will forever and alwaysContinue reading ““I hope you can move on””

I’m angry. Angrier than I thought. Fuck the system.

I’m so angry. I’m so hurt. Fuck the system. Fuck Kim Foxx. Fuck the prosecutors who victim blamed. Fuck them. I’m angry. And hurt. And I need to talk about it. Or write about it for now (I have therapy tomorrow night). I’m so angry and hurt I feel myself coming to tears. On Tuesday,Continue reading “I’m angry. Angrier than I thought. Fuck the system.”

I am the sun ☀️

In therapy this week, I reprocessed some of my trauma and how I was triggered into feeling paralyzing fear when my dog Rosie jumped on my lap as I drove the other day. It brought me right back to the day Mat killed Kirby, because that morning, as I drove to Mat’s house, Kirby jumpedContinue reading “I am the sun ☀️”

When the victim blaming comments don’t impact me

I was checking my filtered comments on Tik Tok this morning and saw somebody commented that I “ate Mexican food while he killed Kirby” and therefore get no sympathy from this person because I put my boyfriend before my dog. And to that, I say: yes, I ate Mexican food that day. I’m incredibly proudContinue reading “When the victim blaming comments don’t impact me”

Rosie went to the vet & I still grieve Daisy HARD.

Rosie wasn’t feeling well this week. I emailed the vet on Tuesday night and asked if I could bring her in this weekend. They wrote back on Wednesday morning saying they’d prefer to see her as soon as possible with her symptoms and they had an opening for that afternoon. I took it and toldContinue reading “Rosie went to the vet & I still grieve Daisy HARD.”

I almost cried at the vet last night

I took Rosie to a new vet last night because she was due for her annual check-up. I researched a ton of vets and this one had like 1,000+ five-star reviews, so I scheduled her appointment and was fine waiting six weeks to be seen due to the wait. The vet is incredible. The clinicContinue reading “I almost cried at the vet last night”

Court tomorrow.

There’s more that I can and will say and I’ll update in a little bit but court tomorrow. Fingers crossed it goes well for us. Ok update – court is today, in a few hours, and I’m finally getting around to updating this post. Court is today. We’re suing my abuser for $475,000-$600,000. That’s basedContinue reading “Court tomorrow.”

Shock, Reality, Truth

I had a phone consultation with a potential new therapist today. My old therapist and I had practiced what to say on these consultations, since disclosing my truth can be very triggering. When I had left the message for her a couple weeks ago, I told her that her profile interests me because she advocatesContinue reading “Shock, Reality, Truth”

Grief, Guilt, and Moving On (literally)

I’m moving. In less than two weeks, I’m packing everything up and starting a new chapter in a whole new state. This has been exciting and something I’m looking forward to, but recently I’ve been feeling a lot of grief and guilt come up. Grief and guilt about Kirby and Daisy. Our life together wasContinue reading “Grief, Guilt, and Moving On (literally)”